This is Christmas

Christmas. It's a day that we look forward to all year. The lights, the food and of course, the gifts. It's unbelievable. We build anticipation day after day. We spend money, we stress over what to get loved ones and then it goes by in 15 minutes. The gifts are unwrapped and the boxes are empty. There's paper torn to shreds and everyone is smiling. Off to play with their new stuff. What a great day!

At some point, today I felt sad. Empty even. The gifts were done and I was certain I had disappointed at least one child because there wasn't enough Frozen memorabilia. As I've gotten older, presents and wrapping have done a poor job of satiating the feeling of longing I have for Christmas. That's because although we make Christmas about the gifts, tree and stockings, we miss the mark. 

Today is a representation. It represents what my life should scream every day. A Child was born. This Child saved the world. He saved me. He saves me everyday. Don't get me wrong - I love the spirit of Christmas. But what are we doing to really celebrate what happened 2000 years ago? Our Savior - the Son of God - was born. To a virgin, in a barn, He came into the world in the dirtiest of places. To save the dirtiest of people. So that we can live. He is what I will continue to fill up on at Christmas. He satiates my every need. Thank God for Christmas and think God for Jesus. The reason for it all. 

Merry Christmas!

We Remembered

I used the word memory tonight and my 4 year old daughter Lily asked what it meant. As I sat and thought about how I would respond, I realized that I had so many explanations. In an instant they flashed across my mind.  

I wanted to tell her that memories are looking up from the dugout and seeing your mom and dad at every baseball game. Ever. Or sliding down a hill on a boogie board with your mom when it snows. Or going to the store when school is out and getting a chocolate milk and honey bun. Or doing tricks on a swing set while your two elderly neighbors look on and cheer. Or honey sandwiches. Your first haircut. Your first kiss. Your first heartbreak. The moment she said yes. The moment you both said "I do". The first time you truly felt your heart beat when your first born arrived. Playing Trooper Alert. Going to the beach. The sound of the ocean, every time. Holding your dads hand. Or dressing like him and going on picnics in the mountains. Walking across a stage for a piece of paper that you earned through late nights and coffee and seeing the triumph in the eyes of your mom and dad as you do it. Meeting your dad for lunch. Loving someone so much it hurts. The smell of a summer day that takes you back if only for a moment. A couple of hours riding in a car with your mom. Holding your wife's hand. The butterflies that come when she walks into the room, even still. The look of pride in a father's eyes that only he can give. The love from a mother's heart that only she can share. That song that takes you back. The feel of little arms around your neck when you get home from work every day. The slobber of baby kisses. The way the rain smells when it falls. The twinge of pain you get from thinking of all the times you should've responded differently, said more or simply stayed quiet. The laughter. The tears. Playing catch in the back yard. Going to football games. Seeing your mom and dad love each other relentlessly your entire life. Seeing that same mom and dad every chance you get. Swimming in rivers. Riding on a bike. Christmas. Eating candy necklaces. A Packer's game with your best friend. Blowing sudsy bubbles in your maw maws kitchen as a little one. Going to the mountains with mom, dad, the wife and kids and just playing in a stream. The first time she told me she loved me. Talking about giving her a hat. Seeing the love on your parent's face the first time they held their first grandchild. And their second. That moment you accepted a Savior into your life and realized all the memories are because of Him and how much he's blessed you. Jumping into a pool. Dancing with your baby girl. Hugs from your mom. Kisses from your wife. Just talking to your dad. Never missing a day of talking to your mom. Playing turtles and toy story and princesses. Playing trouble. Singing babies to sleep. Having more love than you can imagine. Having a best bud. Having a Lily Bug. Every single event that happened. Every one that lifted you higher than anything else. Each one never to be traded. Each one your treasure that means more than you could've ever imagined. 

I told her memories are everything that happened that made you happy. That's what they are. Each one different but completely yours. The little boxes in our minds that bring us tears and laughs all at once. The things that try to fade but you don't let them. Because they are who you are. They helped shape you. I know they did me. Thank God I have them and may they never leave. May she create the best ever. She deserves them. We all do. 

We Let Go

Growing up as children, the majority of us don't know what stress and strife will come. We live in happiness and have no worries (other than where our crayons disappeared to) and no timetable (other than nap time and bed time). I see this in my own children and the love they have for every single day. And the love they have for every single person. They have no idea how cruel the world and often times the people we hold so dear can be. I hope they never have to experience it. 

Life can be hard enough when you dive head first into responsibility. The people closest to you know your struggles because you can let them in. Others who you thought would always be there, or at least should be, often vacate your atmosphere because they don't realize it, they get busy or they just never cared that much. It's an eye opening experience and I have experienced this in my own life but more so in the life of some of the people I hold closest to me. My friends, my family and one person that I hold in the highest regard. It's heartbreaking. 

I've learned that people deal with this differently. Some continue to strive for approval and love. Some don't. There is a difference somewhere I'm sure, most likely in the deepest makings of who we are. One thing that is constant for all is a viable solution. Something that isn't just a filler, but a true source of peace and fulfillment. I've learned what can salve those wounds, what can heal the heart, over time. 

My wife recently shared a devotion with me that was amazing. Sometimes God wants us to let go of certain things so he can take the place of them in our hearts and give us more fulfillment and joy than we ever could've gotten from those that create the void. It's beautiful and scary all at the same time. 

I challenge you. If you have that void, if you can relate, just try this. Let it go and turn to God. Give him an opportunity to fill the void. I'm sure you've tried a million things, thousands of tactics, and they've most likely been fruitless. What can it hurt to try one more thing? What can it hurt to rely on a God that loves you more than anything? 

I deeply believe that God will take the lead and foster the relationship for you if you turn to him. Our circumstances have no weight in comparison to him. He loves us and he wants us. We just have to get out of the way. We just have to let go. There, we find his strength. It is much deeper and wider than our own. I've seen it. I know two of the strongest people alive. God can and God will. All we have to do? Just let go. 

We were still innocent...

Children have an innate ability to win you over. It may be the angelic faces, the fiendish actions that are too cute to get mad at or maybe the soft whispers telling us how much we are loved. One thing is for sure. They possess a sweet innocence. 

I have observed this first hand over the last week with my two kids. They have been trying, precious, angry, sad and funny. Above all, they lay their heads down at night with innocence. 

We lose this ability at some point along the way. The world tries its best to change us. It changed me. I am sure I once had this innocence too. I wish I still did. We all get thrown into the fire of growing up and focusing on the world too soon. It sneaks up on us and we don't know it until it is too late. It's a shame. 

I pray for my children and yours. I pray that they somehow hold on to their innocence a bit longer, maybe forever. I think it's possible. If we focus on teaching our children, really guiding them, maybe we can be successful. We can show them how to focus on the things that matter rather than the things we think matter. Lets teach them the lay of the land. Teach them that there is an overcomer on our side. Lets show them Jesus. Not just in the stories we read them, but in the example we set for them. Lets pull them through the storm before they have to wage war on their own. Lets let them know and remind them daily that we are there for them without fail. Lets maintain their innocence. They will grow up fast enough without us helping. 

Our Word Meant Something

I have heard many promises. Some people promise to keep in touch, some promise not to lie anymore. Others promise to return something borrowed and others promise to pay you back. Promises are dangerous.

I have been on both sides of promises. I have absolutely made promises that I have broken. I have also had promises made to me that weren't kept. The latter is a tough spot to be in. I find myself there quite often. 

Luckily, this blog gets next to no reads so I don't have to worry about upsetting anyone. It's kind of nice. If I did have readers, people would take the advice. I'm going to pretend this is the case here. 

Here's the thing readers (all statistically .3 of you). If you must continue to make promises, think about the implications of those binding agreements that you may not hold true to. Think about it long and hard. If you make a promise, keep it. Don't go back on your word. The repercussions of your word being broken are great. You don't even know them. Too often we treat our honor like its something that we can replace when it's worn out. That is unfortunate and simply not true. Once broken, the rebuilding process is long and hard. You can't buy this off of a shelf. Once it's gone, it's difficult to get back.

There will be people whose hearts you break. Your intentions may be good, but the pressure promises bring are not for everyone. Many are crushed and few hold true. If you must promise, promise this: to love wholly,forgive easily and always stand by your word. Make a believer out of me that people can be trusted becuase right now I am skeptical. If you can't do that, at least promise not to promise. At least that one won't hurt so bad when it's broken. I promise. 

Your Foundation is Weak

Sometimes you build things that last. Whether it is a building, a career or a relationship, you make it work. It's based on the foundation. Now, I'm no engineer (although sometimes I second guess my career choice so much that I wish I were), but it takes only a little common sense to know that your foundation has to be solid in order for your structure to last. 

There are other times where you put in the work and it doesn't last. A small storm can come and damage what you've worked so hard at but it stands. When it's shaken, you wait for the squall to pass and start your repairs. But still, the foundation is rocky. It's just a matter of time before it falls. 

Then it happens. The biggest storm of your life comes and it hits you out of no where. You were rebuilding, employing fundamentally sound ideals. It doesn't matter unless you began a foundation overhaul. When the next storm comes, that building, that career, that relationship is in danger of imploding again. If your foundation is weak, it will be in ruins. 

There is a remedy. You can build on solid ground, but it's work and you make an effort. Do not let outside forces destroy you. They will come against you. Relentlessly. Without fail. What will you do? I will trust The Lord. 

Mark 4: 3-8 says this: Listen! A farmer went to plant seed. Some seeds were planted along the road, and birds came and devoured them. Other seeds were planted on rocky ground, where there wasn’t much soil. The plants sprouted quickly because the soil wasn’t deep. When the sun came up, they were scorched. They didn’t have any roots, so they withered. Other seeds were planted among thornbushes. The thornbushes grew up and choked them, and they didn’t produce anything. But other seeds were planted on good ground, sprouted, and produced thirty, sixty, or one hundred times as much as was planted.” 

That's our lesson. That is our contractor. Jesus is our answer. 

God was the Same...

So I read Hebrews 11 this morning, thanks to my church who put it out on Facebook. In all honesty, this chapter basically calls back to our recollection that there are many people in the Bible who faced hard times. Times where the world was ending, people were dying and there were great dangers. Sounds somewhat familiar.
No matter what is going on, often we lose sight of the fact that God is still in control and will remain there. We try so hard to take everything and carry it all ourselves. Is it because we don't want him to have to worry about it? Very doubtful. It's because we have made the decision that we don't trust him with it. Not fully and not faithfully. We made the decision that our problems are too big for him. We may know he's there and know that he saved us from sin, but how many of us are truly faithful?
The same God that saved Noah is here. The one who stopped Abraham from sacrificing his son sacrificed his own. He's still here. He didn't go anywhere, we did. I did. Maybe you did. Lets turn around. Knock and he will answer. Lets take a step into our unknown. He knows it. He's already there. If you need encouragement because your faith is dry, read Hebrews 11. God still has us. Some of us are walking with him. Some are running to him and others are running away. He's the same for us all if we will just turn to him. He loves us and wants us. My faith may not be huge in my circumstances but its getting bigger. It's gaining momentum and strength. I am running to my God. He's still there with open arms. For you and me.

I woke up...

Sleep is amazing. You can be anyone in dreams. You can be an astronaut, a pilot or even a cowboy. Last night, I was the love of your life. It was great. Just like it use to be. We were walking and talking. You told me you loved me. Unbelievably real. Then, I woke up.
I realized in that moment, that this was as close as I would get to that again. Maybe for a while, maybe forever. And there it was, back for more. My fear and heavy heart. It ripped itself out and told me how foolish I am. It showed me once again what my reality is.
I don't know if you want me. Neither do you. The life that we built was a lie, nothing of it true. It hurts to know you were never sincere. It hurts to know it was fake.
Still, I love you. I'm here and you walked away. I don't think you deserve my love. None of us deserve anything good. But still it remains. For now. I don't know how long. Your bed is made, your decision is yours. Just please, think it through. Pray it out. I am. I long for sleep to get back to the happiness. Sweet dreams to us both.

We Looked Back

I'm sitting on the beach right now where I proposed to my wife. That was 5 years ago (in 6 days). I think back to how I felt that night. I was nervous, sweaty, clammy, and thought for sure I would lose heart. What if she said no? Man, that would've floored me. I would've been crushed. We walked out on the beach and were just standing under the stars. It was chilly with the ocean breeze. I can still feel it. I looked up, prayed silently to God while I held her. I turned her around and slid out the ring. You have to understand. I'm not good at this type of thing. She teared up, smiled and said yes. It was one of the top ten happiest moments I think I could ever experience. I was king of Holden Beach.

Now, I sit on this very same beach. I just ran a few miles and stopped at the very point on this beach where I felt that elated feeling. Here I sit 5 years later. That same nervous feeling. Sweaty and clammy, all the while constantly saying silent prayers to God. Now I'm praying for us in a different way. For her, for me and for our children. Now I'm looking for that same answer. A teary yes. I'm no longer king of Holden Beach. I pray for elation. I pray for that love again. I pray I don't lose heart.

I Told You...

What if I told you I miss you? What if I said this is enough? We need to make a move. We've been sitting in the same place for too long now. I've prayed over us and I've prayed over you. Somewhere along the way I forgot about me. So did you.

I've poured myself into us and into you. I've made decisions, to better our life together and always with your input. I'd venture to even say sometimes for your benefit without ever considering me. That's what this was to me. To make sure you were given what you wanted. To try to meet every need.

Here I am now. All alone. I can't find you no matter how hard I search. I see you but you're not here. Not really. So many times I've stayed awake praying you'd come back. You've made me a believer. That you're gone. I still miss you.

Now I realize I did a disservice. To myself anyway. I may have to you. I built an expectation for myself that I could never have lived up to in your eyes. Who could? I placed myself as the sole provider. Of love, acceptance and of gratification. No one should have to live up to that. Nor should you have.

My mistake? Not putting God first. Not realizing that's where my fulfillment must come from. I inadvertently put it on you. That was incredibly unfair. I won't apologize for putting you first. Nor will I apologize for trying so hard. It's who I am. I gave it my all. This is no longer my burden. I've given it away to the One who does love me. To He who will never waiver on His love and commitment to me. I've given it to my Savior. To my Jesus.

"Come to me all who are weary and burdened and I will give you rest." Matthew 11:28

You Can't Figure It Out?

Lately, things have been completely upside down in my life. To the point that my stomach is in a constant knot and my heart is breaking almost daily. Why? I don't know.
I guess the thing is I feel lost. I know who my God is, but outside of that I'm not sure about anything else. I can't figure anything out inside my world. I feel cut off and shut out. It sucks. You get to a point where you feel like you are doing everything right and then everything falls apart. The reality is we do very little right. Too often we try to guide ourselves. We try to be big enough to do it on our own so we can control it. We fail to realize how weak and imperfect we really are.
On the other hand, I pray constantly for an answer. Some sort of resolution. I may feel unwanted or unloved by the world and even people in my life, but I have a Heavenly Father who doesn't feel that way about me. He sent His Son for me.
The struggle is finding that peace. The world teaches us that all gratification should come from ourselves or from those around us. This couldn't be further from the truth. Our gratification should come from Jesus. He is our link, our path to happiness and joy. He is our life blood.
I know the avenue to this peace. I know it's not an easy road to travel. Then again, what is? Nothing that comes easy is ever good for you. At least it hasn't been for me. Life is hard sometimes. Deep down I think we can all agree with that. I don't know how to change that, but I know who can ease the struggle and its not me. It's Jesus. Through Him, we can be set free. It's maintaining the course of that faith that is difficult.
If there's anyone out there that reads this, I have a simple request. Just pray for me. Pray for me to keep the faith. Pray for strength so I can maintain that course. We are all called to do something. The way we get there is uncertain. Just make sure your moves are guided by the author of life and love. That's where I'm aiming.

Hope is what I Gained from this...

Pain is imminent. How you handle that pain is completely up to you. It's funny because I've been going through something lately that has been the hardest thing I've ever been through. I know that everyone goes through something and everyone's pain is real. I don't want to take away from that. I want to preface by saying that regardless the situation, I am still blessed. But my pain is my pain and to me it's tough.
I've been told I'm a fixer. I try to fix everything. I can understand how that can be annoying. At first I think it was a selfish tendency. I didn't want to go through the rough patch so my natural instinct was to try to fix it. I didn't know that the other person would be upset by this. I didn't know that trying to make the situation better was a problem.
The next phase of my fixing was for those around me. I didn't want them to hurt anymore so I tried to remedy. I asked questions, probably too many and I tried to force conversation. I'm a fixer.
On the other hand, I wanted what I wanted because of the vision I had for my life. I have this thing called by some an imagination. I imagined the American dream. That doesn't always work out, to no fault of your own. I certainly am learning that the hard way.
The one thing I have learned in this situation is that sometimes God speaks to us through others. I feel that he has to me. Let me also preface, in case you are confused, that God did not appear to me in a burning bush nor did He yell at me through a thunderstorm. I feel that He has gotten my attention and confirmed an answer to a prayer through others. I've been told several times over the last four days one thing specifically. Twice by trusted friends or family, once through a sermon at church and another by a family member who heard almost the same sermon at a different church altogether. To sweeten the pot, that sermon brought me to their mind.
So what is this mysterious awakening? This confirmation? It's actually very simple. Here it is. God's plan or vision for my life is much greater than my own vision or plan for my life. I know. It's simple. Almost elementary if you're a Christian. Lets just say it was written out for us. The Bible says :For I know the plans I have for you,” declares the Lord, “plans to prosper you and not to harm you, plans to give you hope and a future. (Jeremiah 29:11 NIV). Here's the thing. My plans may very well cause harm for me and bring about struggle. That is not hopeful.
I am still learning and I am still praying. I know that God is in control. I have learned that I cannot take the wheel here. I have to fully commit to Him. I have to let him take it.
Just to wrap this up, please know that I do not brag wisdom. Nor will I try to convince you that I am a Bible scholar or a theologian. I am simply a broken, insecure man who is searching for something. An answer or a truth. I need this revelation to come from my faith because quite frankly, I'm not strong enough or smart enough to do it on my own. I know that there is a struggle ahead of me. I am afraid of the cost as well as the outcome. I know there will be some degree of suffering no matter the outcome. But, I know there is good from that as well. The Bible also says this: Not only so, but we also glory in our sufferings, because we know that suffering produces perseverance; perseverance, character; and character, hope. (Romans 5:3, 4 NIV).
Thank God for hope. It's what we need. It's what I yearn for. I will keep the faith. I will lean on The Lord. No matter what. I am so glad that He is in control. I never will be.

From Me to You...I Love You When...

I love you. More than words can explain, I love you. When you are up and everything is right with your world, so is it with mine. I love you when you're happy.

I love you. When you are angry and can't get past it, I'm here. Either to help you make sense of it or to grovel and make up for it. You're anger is my anger and I will try my best to help you through it to the other side. I love you when you're angry.

I love you. When you're down and out and everything is crashing down, so is it with me. I will be here to pick you up and dust you off. I will make every effort to bring a smile to your beautiful face and see you back from the ruins. I love you when you're down.

I love you. When the world makes you indifferent I will offer what I can. If you need space and time, that's what I will give but will always be close by. If you need me I'm here when you're ready. I love you when you're not yourself.

I love you. When the world throws anything it can at you or us, I will stand in front of you. I will combat those attacks and take the brunt of it so you don't have to. I love you when you feel that everything is stacked against you.

I love you. When you're excited about what's coming or happening, I will share in that excitement. I will encourage you and make sure it's known how special and deserving you are of everything good coming your way. I love you when you're successful.

I love you. When you try at something or have a dream and it falls through, I will be there to help you pick up the pieces. We will make strides to ensure the next time is better. I love you when you fail.

I love you. When it feels like I'm too busy, too consumed with everything else, you're my first concern. I will work hard to give you the best and to make sure you're taken care of. I will make time for you and us. I love you when you're in need.

I love you. When we have nothing and can't find anyway around, I love you. When the bills pile up and the money runs low, I will sacrifice. I love you when we're poor.

I love you. When everything is in our favor and nothing we want is out of reach, we will enjoy it together. I will be thankful with you. I love you when we're rich.

I love you. When you feel like no one is around and you can't keep going I will carry you. I will pray you through everything and give it to God with you. I will hold you and comfort you. I love you when you're lonely.

I love you. When you feel you're getting older and your youth has left you I will let you know how beautiful you are. I will make sure you know that none hold a candle to you. Inside and out, you're the most beautiful, perfect woman in this world. I love you when you're insecure.

I love you. There are so many things that will stack against us and try to break us. I won't give up. I never will. You are the glue that holds my heart together and nothing will break that. I will put on my armor and grab my shield. I will go into battle, scared or courageous, and I will take on war for you, for us. I will fight for you. When all else is gone, my love will never be. I love you when nothing else is constant.

I love you. I pledge my life to God, you and our family. Through good and bad, ups and downs, I am here to love you. I will build you up and make this life ours to share together. I love you when I wake. I love you when I sleep.

I love you. I always have and I always will. When it's easy and when it's not, it will not change. It will not falter, it will not fade. It will not go away. It will get stronger and will not run out.

From me to you, I love you.

Hold On...

Many times in life we hit rough patches with so many things. It's hard to stay put and just hold on. Your confidence is shaken, your faith is weak and it seems like you are all alone in your little world. The truth is there are people all around. Whether you are going through a job loss, losing a loved one or going through troubles at home, the one thing you must do is hold on. Bad weather lasts for only a moment. Through the rain and storm, hold on. The sun will come back out. Things will turn up on a brighter side. Be steadfast. I know I will. No matter what, I will not be shaken and I will stand and fight for those that I love and for what is right. I'm not going anywhere. I'm staying put. So should you.

The Unknown, Fear & Hurt

What if you made a mistake that you didn't know how to fix? What if there were repercussions that you didn't know about? Hats off to you if you've never been here. This is where hurt starts.

When you realize that you've put all of your time and effort into taking care of something then you notice that all the while you neglected the object of your affection is a bad place to be. It causes fear and that leads to hurting. Bruised ego, lower confidence and above all, fear in your heart. I'm not talking about a scary movie fear that lasts for a moment. I'm talking about a fear deep inside that you can't shake. One that only someone else can alleviate. But, that one person doesn't understand.

It's scary to feel like you are going to lose something or even more, someone. It hurts to know you had the power and the means to make sure it never happened. It's humbling to realize you took care of things that didn't matter and put in jeopardy those that do.

It may pass. It may not. Things could stay and you may not lose anything at all. Maybe they up and walk away. Pray for an answer. A good one. I know I am. I always will.

Pity Parties, Peace and Perspective

I know a guy. He looks at life from a half empty perspective. His cup is running low. Bills, mortgage, kids, tough economy, car troubles, health concerns...the whole nine. Nothing gets better and he sees everyone else prospering. It frustrates this guy.

There's another guy I know that's the opposite. Same problems but he chooses to focus on the good. The beautiful family, the roof over his head, food to eat, one good car. This guy is one step away from getting the break he's seen everyone around him get. He's excited.

The first guy is me. These are my bad days. It's all I focus on because I can't get past the worldly problems. These are the days that my faith is weak.

The second guy? Well, that's me too. These are the good days. These are the days that I don't really notice (or at least decide not to dwell on) the rough patches that I can't change. These are the days that my faith is strong.

My struggle is getting these two guys to meet in the middle. I'm working on it. We will see how it goes.

Kids, Parents and The Lord Above

So I've been pretty retrospective lately. I have two great, albeit challenging kids at home that I am responsible for. I am tasked with knowing what's best for them. Feeding them and providing for them. Above all else, loving them just as my parents have done (and continue to do) for me and theirs before them. It's a cycle that we go through as parents.
I've noticed something. I for the most part know what's best for my kids. I put them first. Even when they don't ask. In fact, especially when they don't. I tell them what they shouldn't do and then what they should. I teach them the rules. I give them direction not so life isn't fun but because I want them to be safe and happy.
I tell them no. They disobey and often times it makes me mad. Really mad. Then they run to me and say "I'm sorry" through tears or smiles. Regardless I take them back. Because I said I would. Because I love them. They keep disobeying. I discipline and take them back. Another cycle.
I realize that this seems extremely elementary. It is. So is life. So is the cycle. Another realization I had is I'm no different. I'm a baby. I'm a toddler. Not in life or age of course but in my faith. God sees me in the same light as I do my kids. I disobey what He has clearly laid out for me to do. I ask Him to forgive me through tears or smiles. He takes me back. Thank goodness for this cycle. There is a difference. I am human and He is not. I am simple and not holy. He is the opposite. It amazes me still that He loves me infinitely more than I even love my own kids. I couldn't imagine loving them more, yet He does. I am a parent. I am a kid. He is love. I would give everything I have to make my kids happy and safe. He already has.

"And God demonstrates His own love for us in this. While we were still sinners, Christ died for us." Romans 5:8

God forgives us...

Paul persecuted Christians. He didn't gossip about them or make fun of them. He didn't just call them names or say he hated them. Instead, he had them arrested. He had stones thrown at them. He had them murdered for their beliefs. 

Too many times as Christians, we look at our past and are thoroughly convinced that God cannot love us or forgive us. Why should He? I mean, lets face it. If He cannot love us, he definitely cannot use us. Not after the lies, the cheating, the stealing, the doubt, the addiction. The list goes on. Not after all of the dirty little things we've done to make Him despise us.  

Here's the truth: God forgives us. It's God's love and the sacrifice of Jesus Christ that we must focus on. Not ourselves or our past. Also, we are making two big mistakes when we think this way: 

1. We made the decision that God cannot love us or use us based on our past (which by the way, he knew we would do it before we did). We put ourselves in the seat of judgment, put on the robe, grab the gavel and decide our own sentence. Guess what? Not our job, not our duty, not our burden. Unless we are capable of or in a position to trade places with Jesus on the cross, we should never try to take His spot when it comes to judgment. After all, in Christ, we are new creations. Washed. Forgiven. 

2. We are actually showing that we don't trust God and His word. If we cannot be used or be loved because of our sins, we are first accusing the Bible of being inaccurate. Paul. Noah. Moses. David. Peter. Is there a common denominator with these guys? Of course. They were sinners. They were dirty. They were used mightily by God. 

We are no different. We doubt. We struggle. We survive. The thing to remember is that if we are one with Christ, we don't have to worry about this. God has a plan for us; a will for our lives. How about we take our focus off of ourselves and put it where it belongs? On God; on the sacrifice He made by giving His son for our sins. For our ransom. For our life. How dare we belittle that unconditional love and make this life about ourselves. 

Put down the gavel, pick yourself up and thank God for this gift of life and his forgiveness. The love He has for us is undying. The tomb is empty. God can use any of us. He wants to use all of us. 

1 John 1:9 - If we confess our sins, He is faithful and just and will forgive us our sins and purify us from all unrighteousness. 

Psalm 103:12 - As far as the east is from the west, so far has He removed our transgressions from us. 

  

Worry is a bad man in a dark alley...

What if we look at worry for what it is. A thief. Worry is a bad man in a dark alley. Worry waits on you as you walk by and you are completely unexpecting. Worry has a plan. That plan is not to make you prosper. No, that plan is to completely derail you from happiness.

Worry starts out small and draws you in. It completely negates your faith. It disrupts all things good. Maybe it doesn't happen right away, but if you give it a foothold, it will. That bad man in that dark alley asks for help. You go in and listen to what it has to say. You walk away and that seed has been planted. The next time you walk by that alley, there he is again. He calls you in and you go. You lend an ear. He drives his agenda deeper. You entertain the idea that he is giving you and now you are considering it's validity even more. Now you are hooked. He is pleased.

You don't walk by the alley for awhile. It doesn't matter, because that man is on your mind. Now he's moving into your thoughts. You stay busy. Think of other things. But when it's quiet, there he is. You think about what he said. What he said could happen. Now you are starting to believe it's true. Now there is a foundation.

You go back by the alley. Maybe it's been days, maybe weeks. There's the man. You speak to him and he does the least expected. He takes it from you. He takes your happiness, your joy. He's now affecting your relationships. You are disengaged. Only partly present. The bad man has it and you gave it to him; control. Now things are unraveling.

What do you do? You excercise your faith. You get stronger so you can combat that man in the dark alley. You bring it to light. You talk to others. You PRAY. You read your Bible. You take your trust away from the ideas that you now cling to and put it elsewhere. You put your faith in Christ. You bring light to the dark alley and expose that man for what he is. You move on. You focus. You win.

Matthew 6:27: "Can anyone of you by worrying add a single hour to your life?"

What if faith was easy to come by?

In my experiences, faith is a word so easily thrown around, it seems as if everyone has tons of it. It's a great thing to talk about when friends are struggling and you need an encouraging word. It's also a great thing to talk about when things are going great for you.

What about when things get tough? Is your faith as strong as it should be? Truthfully? I can honestly say that my faith is lacking when things get tough. I'm not sure how to describe it. I know that Jesus is there and I know that God has a plan. Does that make it easier for me? No. Not really. I think the reason is because I am human. I am not a super Christian. I do things wrong. I feel conviction daily. I can't imagine being a role model for new Christians. I'm still a baby in my faith as it is.

The thing I have realized is that in order to grow my faith, I have to do certain things. First, I have to pray. I have to earnestly seek the God that I so fervently believe in. I have to talk to Him and strengthen that relationship. I have to approach Him with confidence. I have to ask Him for what I don't have...for what only He can give me.

The second thing I have to do is get in His Word. I have to read it, study it and apply it. I have to listen for Him. I have to get out of the way. I have to be transparent and realize how truly useless I am without Him. The Bible says in Romans that faith comes by hearing and hearing by the Word of God (Romans 10:17). I cannot hear what I do not pay attention to.

Finally, I have to do the hardest thing for the "logical" human being. I have to believe. I have to lay down all logic, all selfish reasoning, and give it to Him. I have to lean on God's power here (1 Corinthians, 2:5) and not on my own wisdom (or lack their of).

When it's all said and done, I have to exercise my faith. I can't expect to sit it in the corner or on a dusty book shelf and try to use it when I really need it. I need to take it with me, everywhere I go. I need to rely on it, and work it out daily.

So what if faith was easy to come by? Would we need to talk to our Father? Would we need to earnestly seek Him? Would we need to get knee deep in the Bible? Would we even need discipline? I don't know...but to be honest, I'm glad I have to rely on Him to have it.

"Now faith is confidence in what we hope for and assurance about what we do not see." -Hebrews 11:1

My take on the CFA drama...

So, everyone has their opinions, and many have provided their two cents. I figured, maybe I could too. Here goes:

What if "tolerance" wasn't just a word that sounded good to throw around at a whim, but in fact did not get put into practice? What if a Christian owner of a popular establishment was asked his beliefs and answered honestly, using no hate speech? What if that same individual wasn't labeled discriminatory because of his response? What if instead of labeling all Christians as bigots, people actually respected our beliefs?

I guess we Christians don't understand what it's like. I mean, we are so widely accepted. We are never called derogatory names or made fun of for believing the Bible, which to some is just an outdated book that has no relevance. That wouldn't happen though, right? Because if it did, the same principle of "tolerance" that you demand for yourself would be taken away from us. You would be doing to Christians what you claim credits you as a victim.

You may categorize me as a hate filled individual because you don't agree with my beliefs or because I don't agree with yours. Your tolerance argument is becoming weaker. While you "hate" me for disagreeing with you, here's my pledge: I will live what I believe. I will love the lost and the found alike because we are called to do so. I will not pretend to agree with you. I will practice the love of Christ towards you. I will pray earnestly for you and myself. I will pray that the Church display what we know to be right through love. I pray the same for you. Do not mistake this as agreement in your beliefs, or that I condone it. Instead, take this as a proclamation that I stand on my beliefs in Jesus, His Church, the Bible and family, unapologetically. Would you prefer I move aside and adopt your beliefs? Are you willing to do that for me? Call it what it is...a heart issue. No reason to bring chicken into it.